Jenn's Thoughtful Spot

This is for HIS Glory!

2007-09-26T14:45:00.000-04:00

I know posting lyrics sometimes is overdone, but I want you to really read this song and then I will explain....

Voice Of Truth
------Casting Crowns

Oh,what I would do
To have the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

but the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
i will soar with the wings of eagles
when i stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for my glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Causes Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you........

Okay- I just need to tell you how the last four weeks have been all for His glory. I am not a person who likes change. In fact many would say that I fight it quite regularly. I am all about traditions and doing things "the way we usually do it". And then Mark and I started talking about this job opportunity for him in South Carolina.

When I was a senior in high school I told God that I would go to school anywhere but Indiana. And when I met Mark and got engaged to a man from Indiana I told him I would be moving home to Michigan as soon as we were finished with school. And then when I got pregnant I told him that before the baby was in school I wanted to be in Michigan. And when my aunt and uncle moved closer to my parents and then my uncle had his first stroke I told Mark it was definitely time to move to Michigan. And when Uncle Lyle died this year I told Mark we should have been there by now and that we needed to be there.

So you see I have first hand knowledge of God's sense of humor and His way of getting you to do just what you have said you would never do. Like when his parents moved to South Carolina and started saying we would love the south. And when Mark's dad got sick and I thought God was going to have us move south. And when Mark's mom got sick and I thought we would be needed.

But somewhere along the way God started to soften my heart about moving farther from home in Michigan...

That song is one that I have sung a thousand times. I am so that person. I have listened to that other voice for so long. I have felt second rate and useless. Afraid to do anything because I am not worthy. But then we talked seriously about moving and when this all happened I never once second guessed that it was the right thing. I have not cried about having to leave, I have not felt abandoned by Mark with him staying in Indiana and me coming down early. I have not felt alone, or out of place once. I have never had a moment of hesitation about this move. I stepped out of the boat big time!

I did not want to leave my church. I was certain I would never find a place to fit in again. And while it is never going to be CWC, I am happy at church. I feel like I can get behind the ministries that are happening and be supportive of the staff. The service is my style of worship and I already have a small group to be a part of.

What I want to be sure you are hearing is that this has all been because of the amazing God that I serve and love. God has done a work in me that 18 years in Marion could not have done. He has been more than my strength He is truly my all. God has given us this land. He has provided this job, a house (in two more weeks), friends, peace, family that has been so supportive, peace, excitement for the new adventure, and peace. God is good. And if that day comes, which I doubt, but if the day does come that I feel lonely or wonder why I have to be so far from "home" I will still say this is for His glory! I believe that this job for Mark is his gift from God. And that He has a plan for Jake and I here as well. I will not sway from my stance of giving glory to God for what He has done in our lives!

I know this is long, but I needed to be sure that I said all that. I don't want to miss a chance to give praise to our Father for all HE is and does for me! I want you to know the voice of truth.

NOT HERE!

2007-09-21T08:56:00.000-04:00

PLEASE NOTE THIS CHANGE:

www.jennymealy.blogspot.com

Change is good!

2007-08-22T16:20:00.000-04:00

Well-I am turning over a new leaf and starting fresh--in honor of many changes in our lives I have decided to start fresh with blogging too. After Tomorrow please see my new blog at:

http://jennymealy.blogspot.com

The name of the new blog is Jenny Wren. Hope you enjoy it!

Following suit

2007-08-09T15:59:00.000-04:00

Okay we all know I haven't been posting so at least you get to laugh at me as a Simpson!

2007-05-03T17:43:00.001-04:00

Your Star Wars Name And Title

Your Star Wars Name: Jenme Mastu

Your Star Wars Title: Ylavan of Netsirk

What Is Your Star Wars Name and Title?

20 minutes to change a life.

2007-01-10T16:19:00.000-05:00

A while back my friend Deb posted about what could be done with an extra 20 minutes in your day. And at the time I thought it was a great thing to think about, what could I do in 20 minutes? I spend a great deal of twenty minutes doing nothing of much value and it made we think of all the little stuff I hate to do that I could get done if I invested my time more wisely.

But this past week that time frame has taken on a new significance for me. This past week I was faced with mortality and the fact that in just 20 minutes ones entire life can forever be changed. See this past week a local volunteer fire fighter responding to a house fire, was on the scene just 20 minutes and it cost him his life. Twenty minutes...

Mark has been in countless house fires that last far longer than 20 minutes. I have stood at fire and watched Mark and the other firemen work for hours and no one gets hurt. Twenty minutes...he just wasn't there long enough for death! But that is just the point isn't it? That we never know how long. That we can't predict the timing going into those situations that forever change out lives.

The good news in this situation is that the fireman was a Christian. And so his home going will be somewhat of a celebration on Saturday. And yet, there is such a heaviness about this that I can't quite explain to people. Mark has been working every night on the logistics of the funeral and helping to coordinate the firemen from as far away as Chicago who are coming to honor a fallen brother.

I am sure that it will be an amazing tribute to a selfless man who gave his last 20 minnutes to help someone else. I just keep asking myself what I will do with my 20 minutes?

An end to the silence

2006-12-11T22:29:00.000-05:00

I was a little shocked when I saw the date of my last post. It has been longer than I thought! I would guess that after this much time I may be typing for only myself, as I know many faithful bloggers don't like to waste time on sites that are out of date. But even if this is just for me, let's call it therapy, I feel the need to write again.

This Thanksgiving was amazing. We made our annual trek south to see Mark's family. I always look forward to getting away for a while before the rush of Christmas hits for us. And I also have fallen in love with the mountains. It was a surprise to me since I am a born and bred northerner! (Michigan is God's country you know!) But the site of the mountains rising up around us, the colors of fall on the mountain, the solid rock foundation that the road cuts through, it all just reminds me so much of God's faithfulness, His rock solid foundation for us to stand on. And as we drive past the falling rock zones I was reminded of how even those amazing mountains are not as sturdy as my God!

Small group gang

2006-11-06T22:14:00.000-05:00

I finally have the pictures from my small group at church. The girls are so funny. I love 6th grade. They are all very willing to share and they will be pretty honest about anything you ask them. I have one that is a born leader and she is a huge help no matter what we are doing.

One of my girls is very quiet. She is a good kid, and I wouldn't really say she is shy, she just has a great deal of baggage. I have to say that I have to work really hard to not be shocked by some of the stuff they have already faced in life.

One thing that I learned some time ago in youth work is that you cannot let them see the shock. It is not always as easy I think it should be. How can a 6th grader know more details drugs, street lingo, and just plain survival skills than me? I guess I am pretty naive sometimes. But my goodness, these kids are so young and yet so old at the same time.

I almost always come away from small group feeling the same way first sad and then greatful. I wish so much that I could just take away all the hurt that they have and let them just be kids. Then I am greatful for the carefree childhood I had.

What a week!

2006-09-28T21:03:00.000-04:00

I have been on this high for the past three days now. I have just felt God with me and seen Him working in my life in such a strong way. I just feel so blessed.

I look around me at friends and family and I realize that there are so many people who are hurting and that there is pain and sickness around every corner. I also realize that any day it could be me suffering.

And yet at the same time, I have a renewed sense of peace that if tomorrow my circumstances change, I know that as a child of God, I am still blessed beyond measure.

Let me share of bit of my blessing--

This is the first week of my new job as a Mary Kay consultant. I didn't want to get my hopes up about what the week would bring. I simply wanted to do my part. I scheduled a facial for every day so that I could be practicing on my friends and get the hang of it all.

I have had people call without me even talking to them about Mary Kay, I was given a name of someone who might want to sign up as a consultant, I have had chances to put my name out there in several ways that I never went looking for, and I have had a number of orders! It has been far more than I ever would have guessed on Monday morning!

Then there is the fact that last Friday I was given a financial gift in the form of a gas card and a Wal-mart card that has been a huge help to us this week. I have been able to get a few odds and ends that I needed that I was just waiting on because it just wasn't in the budget at the moment.

Then I took in some change that I had been collecting over the summer and it was enough to get Jake a just because gift tonight and a new pair of shoes that I didn't have to have today, but needed soon. And we went out to dinner.

Mark is gone this week and for no reason at all he called just to say he loves me. It is not that he never tells me that,but he is very focused, and when he is working he rarely has the time to stop and call just to talk. It meant so much--and I know it was from God.

I was talking with a friend yesterday and when she found out Mark is gone she asked if Jake could come and spend some time with them on Saturday so I could have a few hours all to myself. That rarely happens--I am not sure what to do with time alone!

It is just a series of seemingly small things that add up to an amazing gift from God for me this week. So I consider myself blessed!

All will see how great is our God!

2006-09-27T21:30:00.000-04:00

When Mark and I were at married couples retreat a few weekends ago I foundthe music really speaking tome and so I began to just jot down a line now and then as it stuck out. Last night I was looking back over those lines and this one just really hit me.

I spent some time catching up on reading blogs that I hadn't had read for a couple of days and as a good blog stalker I was reading some of people who don't knkow me. By far the most captivating blog of the night was that of the Hummel family.
Myonly connection to them is that JoEllen-the Mrs of the family-is a sister to another friend of ours.

I cannot andwill not try to tell their whole story here you can--you should--check out their blog for yourself if you haven't already. But in a nutshell here are some important facts-JoEllen was pregnant with triplets (babies a,b & C). Recently it was found that baby b was not developing correctly, there was a genetic problem, and the prgnosis for baby b was not good. Burke and JoEllen were shaken and it was painful, but the challenge was met by obviously Godly parents with an amazing faith in their God. And what I sensed, was even through blog world, was a true peace in the ineviability of the future for baby b.

At 25 weeks JoEllen was in the hospital,but the doctors said she has a couple weeks. And then everything changed and within hours she was rushed in for an emergency C-section and the tripletsarrived!

Baby A-Jakobi Dean
Baby B-Breckin Rii
Baby C-Maylee Bri

Baby Breckin lived only a short time. But was snuggled and loved by his daddy and mommy. There are two very special pictures on their blog of them holding little Breckin. And amazingly in those pictures I see no sorrow. I know in their hearts there is andwill be an amount of pain, but in those pictures there is peace. Peace only God can bring to grieving parents.

JoEllen shared her conversation with one of the nurses and she made it very clear that she knew that God was in control. What an amazing witness she has been in the midst of their pain.

Burke and JoEllen may never know how many lives this unfolding story will touch and how many will see how great is our God. They have been such a blessing to me this week. I havenot stopped think of them all day. I just keep being reminded that God is so faithful and loving and so much our everyting in this life.

Thank you Burke and JoEllen for your honest and open sharing with all of us who have read your story. I will forever remember Breckin and the purpose of God for his life nomatter how short. What a precious little one who teaches those who willnever know him this side of Heaven.

I couldn't resist

2006-09-26T23:56:00.000-04:00

a little nothing goes a long way

2006-09-21T13:44:00.000-04:00

Well I am nearing the end of my first week of being done at YFC and here I am at YFC! I agreed to come in once a week to help keep some of the basic office routine routining. (I know that isn't a real word, but it works for the moment so just go with it.) Truth be told, I have done nothing productive all week other than come in to the office today and get things caught up.

I had planned to take one day off just to do nothing, but Jake came home from his weekend at my parents sick, and then Mark had surgery on his mouth and was home for two days recovering from that, and then I had a lunch appointment, and had to help a friend, and then I had youth group, and so here we are almost to the end of the week. It sure is easy to just let nothing take over in life!

I am starting a new job this week though. Not the one I thought God would put in my path at this point, but one that is clearly His leading and will fit our schedule in life. I am officially a Mary Kay consultant. So if any of you want a free facial I need the practice!!! I have called a few people and asked them to be my practice runs so we'll see what happens.

I just got all my supplies the other day and I have been going through them to be sure I know what they all are before I slap stuff on someones face. I think I am getting the hang of it all. I will be working with a good friend of mine so it should be fun no matter what happens. Just having time with her will be a great treat!

I even have my very own website now check it out! www.marykay.com/jennmealy Here goes nothin'!

I love junior highers!

2006-09-14T11:43:00.000-04:00

Last night I attended my first Jr. High night at Body Shop (our churches youth group).

I was so nervous! I didn't think I would know any of the kids, well maybe I thought I would know a couple, but not many. At our last church I knew all the regular kids (50ish of them) by name and that was important to me. Now I have to start over and the older I get the harder it is to remember things and I was sure that I would make a fool of myself-usually done by opening my mouth-and.... Oh man I had myself all worked up.

But the minute I walked in the door I felt so comfortable and welcomed by the staff that was already I calmed down a little. Then the first contact with a new student-I actually managed to put together a coherent sentence. I met several new girls and even found that I knew a few kids from my YFC club at McCulloch last year.

By the time worship started I was relaxed enough to even feel like I was in worship not just doing worship. That was probably the neatest part for me. I love to worship with teens-they are so real-they are either with it or not and when they are it is an amazing sight to behold!

I am so glad that I went last night-I really do love junior highers and I love to be able to share my Savior with them every chance I get! I can hardly wait for next week!

Change--Take 2

2006-09-07T10:48:00.000-04:00

Well, some questions have been asked and some answered and so the change begins....

As of Sept 15th I will no longer be working for Youth for Christ. Mark and I both feel very strongly that this is the leading of God for me right now. I will begin to look for other work, but I am going to spend a few weeks focusing on getting some projects finished up at the house. Ya know, the ones that come with slothfulness.

We are not sure what God has in store for us. But we trust Him enough to just follow where He is leading today. It is not easy for me at all. I love the kids I have been able to work with through YFC. But I have to be where God wants me to be and for whatever reason this is not the right place for me any more.

Mark is very excited about change. He is a little nervous, but more excited to see just where God is taking us as a family. I would just like to ask you to pray with us in the next few months as we seek hard after the direction God is calling us in. We want more than anything else to keep Him at the center of all we do.

Change

2006-08-29T11:37:00.000-04:00

I have never really been one to do well with change. I like routine. If I have made plans and for some reason those plans don't work out it may take hours for me to get past the change. I think that this comes in part from the deep sense of sentimentality (is that a word?) that I have. I want things to always be just as they have always been. If grandma had "that picture" on the wall in her bedroom and she gives me "that picture" then it goes without saying that it belongs in my bedroom. Ya know logical stuff like that.

What is worse than immediate change is the change that you sense in the future. As God begins to move and you know that He is preparing you for something but you don't yet know what that something is. That is where we have been living for the past year. Certain areas of our lives have become uncomfortable and we have had to look at them in a new way and begin to process that it may mean change is coming.

The other day I was particularly stuck fretting over one of those areas of change with an unknown end. We were driving to a friends house and the radio was on. I was in my own world and suddenly God just shook me back to reality with a song. All I could do was laugh.

The song was by Steve Green, it's called The Plan. Here is what it says:

I don't need to have the plan in hand
I don't need to have the end in sight
All I need to do is follow You
wherever you lead and do what You ask me to do

Trusting You Lord with all my heart
following You all my days
whether I can or can't understand
I'll acknowledge You in all my ways

Though I am pressed on every side I am not in despair
my faith in You will carry me through
though I may not see where You're leading me.

It was certainly a clear message about my impatience and frustration with the changes in my life. But as God usually does, He had more to say. On the way home from that same trip He gave me another song that has been carrying me this week, Jesus be the center.

Jesus be the center
Be my source be my light Jesus
Jesus be the center
Be my song Jesus

Be the fire in my heart
Be the wind in my sails
Be the reason that I live

Jesus Jesus
Jesus be my vision
Be my help
Be my guide Jesus

So now I am trying to take the focus off the change and the hardship it may bring and put the focus back where it belongs--on Jesus. And that truly is my prayer as we continue the journey through change-that it would all be about Jesus being at the center of my life, and the life of my family. There is no way that we can be harmed by the change if it is God directed and Father filtered.

Hero #3

2006-08-11T12:21:00.000-04:00

I took a break from my heros not by choice, but due to family camp and then family illness. I want to finish up with just a couple more if you will indulge me.

Hero number three....Deb Sigworth.

I can't really remember when it happened that Deb and I became friends. I knew of Deb by reputation and association much longer than we have been friends I know. I think that my knowing her was really due to Mark knowing Gene and my knowing Bob and Suzanne Varadman. But however it happened that we became friends, all I can say is "thank you Lord for letting us meet!"

I have known two Deb's: Deb with Gene and Deb after Gene's death. I have loved both. Deb and Gene were the couple I can only dream that Mark and I will be one day. They complemented each other perfectly. Gene was the outgoing one and Deb more reserved. Both fun loving and able to bring joy to any occasion. The Deb with Gene was strong and confident, yet always submissive to the leading of her husband. That was a huge thing for me since it is an area where I struggle. I watched her closely for a long time noticing how she was her own person and yet a half to their whole as a couple. Gene led and Deb followed so gracefully.

Mark and I spent many hours around camp fires soaking in the wisdom of Gene and Deb. We learned to relax and do nothing more than watch a light change on top of a cell tower. They shared so much with us in so many areas that I can't even begin to list them all but of the top ones were encouragement, prayer, commitment.

Then Gene got sick and as their world changed so did ours. I saw Deb at those moments of total loss. I watched her in the hospital as we waited for results and sat through surgeries. Those were times when I asked God, if Deb is struggling this much how would I ever do it? She is so much stronger than me. And over the course of 18 months I watched the rolls change.

Gene was Deb protector but through his illness Deb stepped up into the roll of Gene's protector. She took the lead as needed and lead her family in the day to day. She was always honest about the struggles, but always, ALWAYS honest about how faithful God was to them every day.

Since Gene's death it has been hard at times to make my way down to the camp fire. The empty chair is just to painful for me. And yet, there is Deb (the fire queen) opening the circle of chairs for us all. There is Deb still camping, still laughing, still moving forward with her ever faithful Father.

This summer Deb decided that she needed some new steps for her camper. So she built them. In the course of watching her build I told her one day in a half hearted way that she was my hero. And ya know, she really is. She has learned to do what has to be done and to walk on in life. She is still teaching me about camping-I can even put the camper awning up and down on my own now!-about living, about loving, about loss and mostly about God.

This amazing woman has continued, without missing a step, to be my friend and mentor just as before. She has come out of the fire of this trauma a beautiful diamond. Stonger, more polished and valuable beyond human price.

I love you Deb! You really are my hero.

Traumatic morning

2006-08-08T16:51:00.000-04:00

Today was one of those days when I say "I don't want to be the mom any more." When we came in to my office this morning I had a mental list of things that I knew needed to be accomplished today. I had things for Jake to do and things for me to do. With Brad out of the office I thought it would be a good time for cleaning.

One of the worst jobs was to be cleaning the fish bowl. I was out sick for 4 days last week so the bowl was unusually green and scummy. Yesterday before I left I did have the heart to add a little clean water to the bowl thinking it would at least hold the poor betta (Rainbow) over till morning.

Apparently it was too much for him to handle.

I was sitting here at my desk getting messages and checking the mail when I realized that I could not see the fish in the bowl. Not for the green, but because he truly was not in the bowl! Jake came running to help search for the missing fish I knew it was bad when he asked, "is this the fish?" sure enough he had found little Rainbow...dry and curled up in a pile of dust under my desk. As Jake held the poor hard fish by the tail his eyes began to tear.

I wanted to laugh personally. Who ever heard of a fish committing suicide? I guess I have the perspective Jake lacks that it was only a fish and can be replaced easily. He was so sad though. I didn't laugh out loud (this time) but I could have.

Maybe one day I will share some of our other burial stories with you but for now Rainbow will go down as one of the better pet death stories in the Mealy family!

Rest in peace Rainbow
Oct 2005-August 2006

Hero #2

2006-07-14T15:50:00.000-04:00

The next hero that I will tell you about is someone that is on my mind today. She is an amazingly strong woman. Perhaps the strongest I have known to date. Her name is my Aunt Barb, but in our house she is known as “Aunt Bart” (thanks to Jake at age 18 months).

As a kid I spent as much time with my aunt Barb and Uncle Lyle as I could. They lived 2 hours from us, but every Christmas break, spring break and as much as I could in the summer I was there. I loved going to their house! (In fact I still do!)

I remember I used to tell my mom that I wished Aunt Barb was my mom and not her. It was one of those things you say as a kid because the rules are more relaxed at Aunt Barbs and we got to go lots of fun places and I had different chores and different friends and it was just different in general than being at home. It had nothing to do with my mom really, and as a mother now I know that, but I also know how hurtful it was to hear. So to my mom-Sorry! I really do love you!

Aunt Barb was a waitress for as long as I can remember. She worked in a small restaurant; you know the type with the farmers drinking coffee at the back table and the women cackling in the front room and the old guys sitting at the counter. She always took the week off if I was staying wit them, but we had to make daily trips to town it seemed like to have fried mushrooms and a vanilla shake. I liked being at her work and so did she.

As I grew our friendship grew. When I got married it was Uncle Lyle who walked me down the aisle. He was more nervous than Mark and I combined! And Aunt Barb was seated as a mother. She was there for all the stuff that life brought my way.

About 7 years ago Uncle Lyle had a stroke. He survived, but never fully recovered. He had a few falls, a broken hip, and then a year ago the worst fall cause undetected bleeding on his brain. The pressure built until it damaged his brain enough that his speech and thinking were affected. Now he is wheelchair bound. He has to have more help than before to get around in the morning or at night. He doesn’t always know what is going on around him. He spent some time in the nursing home. And yet through it all Aunt Barb has been beside him.
I have watched her sleep on the floor next to his recliner when he couldn’t make it to the bedroom. I have heard her talk only of what is best for him and never think about what she wants. I have learned that love is a choice not a feeling, or emotion, it is following through on commitment no matter what.

Aunt Barb is my hero because she lives out faithfulness and servant hood every day of her life. She never complains, she never gets angry. She just loves and gives until she has nothing and then keeps giving.

Heroes

2006-07-11T12:43:00.000-04:00

I have been thinking about hero's the last few days. There are these commercials right now for a new show that will be on this fall called "hero's" and it is all these seemingly average people who suddenly realize they have some super hero type power. One that is funny to me is where a guy is sitting at his desk and starts to stare at the clock and look as if he is trying very hard to "go big" as we used to say at our house and finally hand on the clock moves back one minute. One that is annoying is a man who is considering suicide. He is ready to jump off a building and when he starts to fall he realizes he can fly.

My first question is what is so heroic about suicidal tendencies? And if it takes three minutes of grunting to set time back one minute, what good have you done?

I guess I just don't look at hero's the way Hollywood or TV land does. Not that that is s huge surprise really, I don't agree with much of what they say. But it has made me stop and think about what I do believe about heroes. I do believe that there are heros all around us, they just don't fly in invisible jets, or "ghost" through walls.

So who are my heros? Well, I am glad you asked. I thought I would dedicate the next few days to telling you about some of my real life heros. They will be in no particular order, no one is more significant than another in my life today, they are all part of what makes me who I am though.

The first one that comes to mind is an obvious one-my Daddy. I was only 10 years old when Daddy died of brain cancer, but he taught me things in those 10 years that I sit live by today. He was a gentle man who was a loving husband and father. He was a Godly man who lived out his faith for all to see. Mom used reminds me that he was human and not perfect, and not to think he could never do anything wrong. I know that is true, but he tended to be more good than bad!

Daddy first had cancer when I was in first grade. He was told that he would only live 6 months; he lived 5 years! I didn't know it at the time, but later my mom told me that he told her he would live long enough to teach me the most import lesson in life-how to handle a tough situation-in those five years I became a Christian and was baptized on Easter before he died in December. He taught me that the way to handle a tough situation was with dependence on God. That there was nothing I could face that God would not go through with me. He taught me through his death.

Daddy was never visibly shaken by his own situation. He did everything to help my mom and I prepare for what was coming. He lived out his faith to his last breath. There are a few times that I remember really showing that faith. One of those was when he was in the hospital shortly after surgery and mom and I went to visit on a Sunday afternoon. He asked mom to read the scripture from Sunday school that morning. She didn't want to, but she did at his insistence. It was Ecclesiastes 3-for everything there is a time...a time to be born and a time to die...He talked her through the reality of that in our lives. He pointed us to God for strength. There are more stories like that, but they would take far too long to tell here.

Daddy was/is a hero because he stood firm in his faith. He stood firm in his love for his family. Because he did what had to be done with grace and dignity and showed me how to handle the rough times of life. Not because he turned back time and took away the trial, or not because he tried to end his suffering and found out he could fly. He was a real man with real pain and yet he found real peace and strength and was able to teach through it all.

Get to Work!

2006-07-07T10:55:00.000-04:00

Brad(my boss) is on vacation until next Friday!
I am finding that being the only one in the office is giving me the much needed time to do a little dreaming. I have made signs, postcards, letterhead and a list of ideas for clubs for fall.

Of course I have not done any of my office manager work, or made one appointment for next week (I should have at least 2). I guess it's true that when the cat is away the mice will play!

At this point it is pretty clear that this day is totally lost to dreaming, I'll do better next week!

The Struggle Within

2006-06-29T10:50:00.000-04:00

I discovered something this morning, or maybe I should say I re-discovered something. I have this terrible struggle going on inside me all the time. It is one that I thought I had put to rest a few years ago, but it has resurfaced in the past few months. It is the struggle of significance.

I noticed it this morning when I was checking the list of blogs that I feel I must read daily. I had psoted a comment to a friend and she cammented back that I hadn't posted anything in sometime. My first thought was, oh well, I have been gone and I haven't had time, then it was well I guess I should post about Jr High Camp and the YFC confrence I was at for the longest 8 days of my life, or I should talk about all that Jake is doing this summer.

Then I stopped and my thought was "Oh why bother? I don't have anything worth saying anyway. Who is gonna care what I post? I don't think anybody even reads this stuff."

I thought about all that for a while and then I realized that it is that same struggle that I thought I had put to rest years ago. The idea that my words are of no value. That my thoughts and opinions have no worth to anyone but me. Satan kept me imprisoned by that lie for many years.

I would just like to challenge you today that if you ever find yourself feeling like I have to stop and remember that all things created by God are of value. That no matter who agrees or disagrees with your ideas, they are still valid as your ideas.

Do not be shaken my friends-stand firm in the knowledge that you are a child of the King!

morning glory

2006-05-10T06:46:00.000-04:00

I did something today that I have not done in a VERY long time...I got up before Mark, I got up before Jake, I got up...before the sun!!!!

When I was younger I was known as a morning person. My dad might tell you I didn't like to get up, but once I got up, I was good to go. I could, at one point in my college life, get up early and stay up late and never feel the negative affects.

When Mark and I were first married I remember offering to get up every morning to fix him a hot breakfast before he left for work. He quickly said that I could sleep in. He is NOT a morning person at all. So I began to stay up late with him and therefore, sleep in later in the morning. It is funny how that happens. How we begin to adjust to our spouses.

Now, almost 15 years later I am officially a night owl. I hate to think of going to bed (maybe that has something to do with the fact that I am a chronic insomniac now as well) and even more than that, I hate to think about getting up in the morning!

So why did I get up before the sun today? Well, in the process of taking sleep out of my life I have found that brain cells drain too. In other words I am far more forgetful than I used to be. So last night at 10pm I was watching one of my favorite shows-The Unit-when it hit me that today was a board meeting at work and I had forgotten to print all the monthly financial reports that were needed. I was too comfy and settled in on the couch to get back out at that point so I opted for doing it early. Board meetings are at 6:30am! Who planned that I don't know, but I want to thank that person for helping me watch the sunrise today.

Having enjoyed that wonderous site I will be taking kids to school and going home-to go back to bed! I will try to face the world again around 1pm! A much more reasonable time for breakfast!

2006-04-27T10:00:00.000-04:00

I am writing not because I know what to say, but because I don't know what else to do at this moment. My brain is not at full power today.

Last night there was a terrible accident on I69 just north of the Marion exit. A semi crossed the median and struck a van full of students from Taylor Unniversity. 5 are dead and 5 are injured.

The news report last night said that the van was "peeled open throwing students out". The pictures were horrific to see. The van was so heavily damaged.

One of the dead is Betsy Smith. Betsy was a senior at Taylor this year. She was a volunteer for one of my Real Life groups at YFC.

There are no words for the sorrow I feel for her family and friends. I have cried and prayed for hours now and I still can't find words to share with the director of that club.

We will begin the process of passing on the news to the rest of the volunteer staff from that club and we will have to figure out how to tell the students whom Betsy loved and worked with for the past few years.

I just ask that if you read this you will say a prayer for those that will be touched by this loss. The ripples of the lives that these young people have touch are far reaching. This is not a pain felt by just a few, but an entire campus and community.

I know in my heart that "life is hard, but God is good" but there is much hurt between those two things this morning.

2006-04-21T13:04:00.000-04:00

WOW! I didn't realize how long it's been since I posted anything. I must need to get a life so I have something to say! hehe

We have started soccer season for Jake. He is such a great soccer player. This is pretty much the only sport he has found that he truly excels at. Baseball was...well, lets just say it was, and it isn't any more!

This year Jake is the oldest on the team and he has stepped up to being a leader. He is going to have so much fun! He has been practicing all the drills that last years coach taught him as well as the running and goal shots that this years coach is pushing. Our first game is tomorrow so we'll see how it goes. I will try to get some pictures to post after the game.

I have heard people talk about soccer moms and how they act and all these funny things they do and I have often thought that I could never be so bold as to yell at the coach, or another parent. That I would never overstep the line of parent on the side line type stuff. But may I just tell you, I am a soccer mom! It must just come with Jake's uniform! I love it! I get excited, I yell, I "offer assistance" to the coach (whom I am not yet sure of, he is a little stand offish so far).
I sit through every practice and every game no matter what the weather is! (we often get rained on). I want everyone to play, but I am certain that my kid is the best. Well, Morgan is pretty good too, but that's only because his mom is a friend of mine.

I seem to be coming down with a much more forceful case of the soccer mom syndrome this year than last. I hope I can make it through the season!

A Trip to the ER

2006-03-28T12:54:00.000-05:00

Technology never ceases to amaze me. Last night I took a friend to the ER here in Marion. She was having chest pains which is nothing to mess with in my opinion. Our wait to be seen was not long and I was impressed with that; I have been allowed to wait for what seemed like days on personal tirps to the ER. Anyway, they got her in a room and the doctor was there is short order with the 20 questions that must be asked.

He recommended a few basic tests to check her heart and lungs. A nurse came in and began to hook little electords of some sort to her chest and legs and by the time she got done she clicked one button on her laptop looking machine and began to take all the little electrods off again. She sai okay, all done. And I actually said, outloud, "That's it?!" to which her complete reply was, "yep". I guess I was hoping for something more like, Oh yeah I forgot something, or well now I have to.... But she was done and gone faster than what seemed possible. It was amazing to me. What great strides technology has taken in the medical field! It was truely impressive.

The trip also consited of a nurse drawing 4 vials of blood, a ct scan, and a good deal of wait time for test results. When the doctor finally reappeared he said that all was normal with her heart and lungs, all her tests looked okay. He had a couple of thoughts on what might be causing her intense pain, but wasn't yet sure.

At that point, no not much more than we had upon entering the ER he gave her a perscription for some pain pills and sent her home! What happened to the technology? Where were the answers? Why had we bothered to come? He didn't even figure out what was wrong! I thought that was the point of a trip to the ER.

It was such a let down. After they impressed me with the machines the humans still managed to disappoint!

Gray Day blues

2006-03-27T15:32:00.000-05:00

I commented to one of the kids at church yesterday that I am ready for spring to which he quickly replied that it is spring. I gave him credit for knowing that according to the calendar it is technically spring. But the spring I was referring to is the one when there are more sunny days than cloudy!

The gray is getting to me I guess. I am struggling to stay focused on work and chores at home. I am more in the mood to curl up on the couch with a good book and a cup of hot tea! It is especially bugging today as it is our spring break! Jake is at my folks for the week and I have free time to enjoy, but nothing seems to enjoyable in the gray of this day. You would think that after 15 years in Indiana I would be used to the weather, but I am not.

So I will just plod along, feeling a little less than my usual self, and wait for the sun.
May your days be blue skied and cheerful!

Out dated

2006-03-03T09:02:00.000-05:00

I know that they say the day comes as a parent when your children begin to think they are smarter than you. And I knew that day would come even for me, but I didn't realize that the day would come in the fourth grade when Jake would BE smarter than me!

I was ok when he could pick out his own clothes. I loved it when he was big enough to pack his own lunch for school. He was only 2 when he learned how to run the VCR/DVD player and that was a good thing too. When Kraft came out with easy mac I gave a small cheer. But I enjoyed helping with school projects and home work. I wanted to be a part of that for a long time. I love to teach and that was my chance. But then came Miss Danylak and the fourth grade.

Miss Danylak is a great teacher don't get me wrong, I love her! But she has taught my son enough now that I am an outdated model of teacher! I feel like a commodore 64 (with a cassette tape drive! Yes, I actually had one of those back in the day!) When did I lose the knowledge I had to have to get through school? Suddenly the fact that it took 5 1/2 years to get through college seems like a negative thing.

Today Jake and his class are taking a trip to the Indiana State House. They will be learning about our government and how and why it works that way it does (yeah, good luck with that kids!) But he is today passing me up-I've never even been to the state house.

I had no idea I'd be so old at 34!

Miss Danylak & Jake

2006-02-24T15:59:00.001-05:00

Master Jacob Mealy

2006-02-24T15:59:00.000-05:00

Colonial Days

2006-02-24T15:56:00.000-05:00

a couple of weeks ago Jake had Colonial Day at school. He was so excited. The entire unit they did on Colonial America was facinating to him. He built a log cabin, he drew a picture of a Colonial plantation. So for the big day we went to AA Rents and got a costum for him. He really looked the part.

I think I had as much fun as Jake with it. Mark kept reminding me that the projects were Jake's and not Momma's. We all had fun with it though.

Friday, finally!

2006-02-24T15:51:00.000-05:00

I am so ready for a weekend!

Another Monday

2006-02-20T12:27:00.001-05:00

Another weekend has come and gone with no real house work accomplished! I think that may be a good thing only for me. I am pretty sure that Mark and Jake would like very much for things to get done at home. A friend of mine has a sign that says, "So I'm not super-mom. Adjust!" That is my new slogan.

After putting it off as long as I could I finally went to the doctor a week ago to see what I need to do about my cholesterol and triglycerids being so high. He was very nice, but firm. I am now in the gym every day (he had some line about since my office is in the same building as a gym, and I have a membership for said gym, that there was no excuse to get me out of it!) And I have to make some dietary changes, and do all of this starting a week ago and keep it up for 6 weeks and then see him again. In the mean time he said no pain med's for the fibro and no muscle relaxers for sleep. I think he is just trying to do me in! I am doing what I can. He said to just take it one day at a time so that is what I am doing. I figure if I have to be wheeled into his office in 6 weeks because I can't walk from the pain he will have to do something for me! He he

Yesterday Mark and I were accepted as members of College Wesleyan Church. That is where we went when we first got married, in fact, Mark grew up in that church. We had transferred our membership and now had it transferred back after 10 years. We both really feel like this is the place that we are to be. God has made that clear to all three of us over the past few months. It is good to be officially a part of the church in such an exciting time of growth and blessings.

God is doing great things in and through His people. We are just trying to keep up with the direction God is calling us in.

Blessings to all on this beautiful day!

ME!

2006-02-16T13:30:00.000-05:00

Can I really do this?

2006-02-16T11:21:00.000-05:00

Okay, I have been reading all the blogs of my friends and figured that I could at least try to create my own. So many people say I am no good at keeping in touch so this way I can get them all up to date at once! Hope this works!

Jenn